This H & M jumper...Discuss

I walked past this H&M jumper 3 times in Selfridges yesterday, and every time I visited it, the numbers on the rack slowly dwindled until finally there was but one left...in my size. I battled with my decision to purchase it, I asked people who walked past, I whatsapp'd my friends, I picked it up...I put it down. I muttered out loud to myself, unafraid that other shoppers might hear. The big question on my mind- 'Is it awful, or is it F-ing genius?'

I still don't know. I own it, but I'm unsure. There's just so much going on here. I mean we have an animal motif, which I have never shied away from. However this bad boy has sequins, beading AND large green jewells. Now, I love a day sequin, but even I'm wondering, is it too much? What message does it send? That I'm going to be on the next season of The Undateables? Does it also say 'I live in my parents basement?' or 'I spend my Saturday nights doing macrame and listening to Michael Buble'?

I can't imagine wearing it in any situation and being taken seriously, unless I'm at an over 60s Bingo Night. I certainly can't wear it to work, nobody is taking feedback on sales targets from Joan Collins' senile 3rd cousin. I can't wear it on dates, I'm pretty sure I don't need to explain why. The gym is out of the question because if a sequin came loose on the treadmill and got under my foot, I could seriously injure myself **Note: I don't have a gym membership. I think about getting one every day, but then I forget when I'm on the couch watching Bake Off**


So when does one wake up in the morning, pick up the French Bulldog jumper and think 'I am going to make friends and influence people wearing you!'?

The jumper definitely raises way more questions than it answers. I mean, I'll be wearing a jewelled jumper featuring a dog ALSO WEARING A JEWELLED JUMPER. This thing is The Matrix. Hang on, no wait, it's Inception. Oh my god, the jumper is Leonardo DiCaprio. 

Maybe I should keep it.

 

Jumper £35, H&M